When words do not suffice,
When every moment is as precious as the present,
Fleeting yet unrelenting, complex but calm,
Breathe.
When kindred souls collide,
In complete randomness and raw,
Holding nothing past and new,
Breathe.
Wind kissing against bare cheeks,
As city lights fade past,
Into one perfect vanishing instant,
Breathe.
Backstory | Photo taken with my almost decade-old Samsung A50 at the rooftop of Marriott Marquis the night after.
I am at the dawn of my first year as a quinquagenarian, and it is nothing short of bliss lovingly wrapped in grace. When life pushes you to the cliff of challenges, only the preeminence of Christ is your stronghold.
It was all I needed.
In grateful retrospection, I tried to count every favor God has done on my behalf, but I gave up because it was overwhelming and uncountable. From safety to sanity, provisions to progress, and even chaos to cancer, God has turned my prayers into purpose. A plethora of unmerited favors has been the go-to sanctuary that has propelled me to do more for His glory.
No fail. Especially when I was fifty.
My son got sick, my daughter migrated back, my mom almost had a bypass, but amidst all these, God’s presence is palpable even in days when I was at my worst.
He remains faithful and present.
As I transition from gold to what AI calls a “hidden gem,” I have a pocketful of prayer that, from desiring, I would further shift into becoming the person that God wants me to be.
Backstory | Today marks the sixteenth year of this blog that I started when I was 35, and now that I am 51, my prayer is to continue writing my thoughts that would inspire you as you waste your time with me.
I was requested to write our church’s 26th anniversary theme song, and I was quite reluctant this time because we were travelling back home and I had multiple commitments prior. While I may have bits and pieces of ideas about it, I simply don’t have the time to sit down and pour my heart out into it.
However, you cannot run away from God when you are called to serve in whatever means. On my almost four-hour flight from Bangkok to Cebu, God woke me up from my slumber, and I started scribbling His thoughts.
God provided me with words, and He did the same for the ever-talented father-and-son tandem of Gerald and Geo Camato, who crafted the music, and were interpreted by my favorite singers, Asher and Janice.
Happy 26th, RISDAC!
Backstory | This is the fifth time I’ve written a theme song. Three for RISDAC and one each for Lifting Christ Thailand and Service And Love Thailand. Songwriting is frustrating yet fun, daunting yet delightful, and challenging yet comforting (this is unique to me; it may be a breeze and a no-brainer to others) because my background is in journalism, not creative writing.
By | Sam Angelo Yuan Alvez
After a successful run in high school and a promising first year start at college, I reflected at the coast of Macau as 2024 ended with great thankfulness to the Lord for all that He has done. I was grateful for the many victories that He has given throughout the past year, and before I made my way back to the hotel, I let out a prayer by the shore that my 2025 be as smooth sailing and as promising as the year he had just led me to.
At the beginning of it all, my prayers were answered, and 2025 started in the best way I could ever imagine. Never before have I been physically, financially, socially, and spiritually blessed as the beginning of 2025 where life looked bright ahead of me. I must admit, reaching the very top of my ambitions became “my way” instead of “God’s way.” Reaching the top, I’m certain part of me stopped looking for the One who pulled me up when I was down.
The short-lived fruits of my labor took a turn for the worse towards the middle of this year. Starting off as a second year college student, I was met with health disturbances that to this day do not have a definitive explanation of why things came to be, and how such discomforts could be relieved. I must admit that life onwards became miserable, and living life became a chore that I had to do simply because I must do. I felt like a prisoner inside my own body; a fragile and oversensitive body that constrained my free-spirited ambitions and pleasures in life.
At the same time, my little friend, Juju, also developed illnesses that severely limited the quality of his life. While it was heavy on my personal finances, I figured he desperately needed treatment if I still wanted hear his meows and look at his innocent eyes first thing in the morning. At first, there were promising signs of recovery and his life sprang back to normal for a good while, but his maladies for unexplained reasons started overpowering the limitations of his body. There was even a time where I came to terms that he was better off being put down because I pitied the saddened look in his eyes as he withered into bones. “Mas mabuti pang ipatulog [euthanize] nalang yan kasi araw araw mas lalong humihirap yung buhay niyan at wala naman na tayong magagawa diyan,” I said.
My health improved bit by bit, and I was making progress to living back to my old life. For months, I no longer felt my body betraying me and where I was able to once more pursue the things I enjoy in life. Pero hindi ko talaga alam why my body degenerated once more, and in a much worse state than the first decline in health. I no longer have the energy to carry on with my daily obligations, and my quality of life has severely dropped that I’ve never seen my mental health shattered as bad as this.
Then I came back to the Lord and asked him why he had allowed all these things to happen to an undeserving young person. “Masyado pa akong bata para magkasakit nang ganito Lord, at meron pa nga ibang mga tao na mas masahol pa ang lifestyle kaysa sakin na mas healthy pa sa akin tuloy.” I questioned the Lord over the fragility of my body despite living the healthiest lifestyle I could, and complained at how undeserving I am of all these physical limitations.
Obviously, there is a lot of misery, agony, and sorrow over the challenges I’ve faced this past year, but I eventually came to a point that all this mourning will do me worse if anything. At my latest trip to the ER, my Mama told me that “This has been given to God, so it is his battle na nak.”
I’ve always tried to be as self-sufficient and self-reliant as possible, but my burdens have been too much to handle. If anything, this whole year has been a lesson that I should really put my faith in the Lord regardless of whether I’m at my highest or lowest. I am still in a fragile state, but surrendering it all to the Lord clears a lot of tension in my head and chest as the days go by.
Going back to Juju, the same week where I had finally given up on him was the same week where he fought the hardest to stay alive. Just when I thought his time was up, he did everything in his power to eat and recover. I have never seen a miracle as powerful as this in my life and his battle continues to inspire my road to recovery. When I say it’s a miracle, I mean he is in a much healthier state now without medication compared to when he was under an expensive treatment plan that showed little promise of fully recovery. I was at first counting the mishaps that has happened to me this past year, but Juju’s miracle outweighs it all. Everyday, I now pray that God grants me the healing that he did to my little friend.
I may be ending 2025 without the health, money, and happiness that God has given me at the beginning of the year—but that all doesn’t matter anymore. I praise the Lord for everything that I am, and being alive is already more than a gift. As I end this year, I no longer pray that the year ahead be smooth sailing and bright, but I pray that God will give me the faith, grit, and trust that I need as I carry on to the next year with Him. Amen.
written on 20/12/2025
Backstory | Our family spent the holidays in Hong Kong and Macau in 2025, and for 2026, we decided to go home and visit Mama and our family. Sam was supposed to fly on December 24, but he ended up in the emergency room of Camillian Hospital instead.
Suitcases are scattered all over my room, with piles of clothes everywhere. My body is worn out from the long wait, and the 60 kilograms of luggage at two airports, as well as the thick dust from the PM 2.5 in Bangkok, welcomed me in 2026. This is not a rant but an expression of gratitude that even amidst all this chaos, I made it through another new year.
With an overwhelming appreciation for God, who made it possible, I usher in the coming year with this theme, which was finalized only after an AY program at church on the first Sabbath of 2026.
What will your new year look like?
Backstory | My annual theme is not a resolution but more like a north star as I navigate the entire year. No pressure to resolve things, but with an intentional desire to do everything according to my annual GPS and the guiding grace of God.
I evaded death thrice.
Firstly, when I was in third grade due to polio, to a C-section for my second child, who was 26 weeks, and to breast cancer five years ago, escaping death is only possible with God.
For someone who was supposed to be lifeless three times, opening my golden year loop around the sun is celebrated with overwhelming gratitude for this borrowed yet purposeful time. My life has been a tapestry woven with threads of health challenges and survival rooted in sheer faith.
Without an iota of doubt, God loves me.
He loves you, too.
Backstory | My birthdays have always been for others. On Sunday, I was blessed to do my annual birthday mission with my Buddhist but Christian by-heart friend Bomb. We shared loaves of bread and bananas. I prayed in Thai for the first time to Khun Krit who was suffering from bone marrow edema.
As I tiptoed to the worship hall this morning, I was a bit sad that only a handful were present on time. Worship in my workplace starts at 6:30 in the morning, so the struggle to get up from bed is something that most of us experience.
Would God be upset with me if I showed up on time but was not fully ready to receive Him? Would He take it against me if my being is not fully present? Will He be happy I showed up on time, yet my heart is elsewhere?
Know your God well to figure out the answers.
Backstory | I see this sun every single working day at my previous office and I witness its beauty again today after the worship.
I first fell in love with this young poet at President Joe Biden’s inauguration when she recited “The Hill We Climb.” She had me at, “If we merge mercy with might, and might with right, then love becomes our legacy” and “For there is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.”
Amanda Gorman is a wordsmith and an effective changemaker. Her brilliance in weaving words and coming up with a cohesive and meaningful masterpiece is truly exceptional.
Here are some of my favorites from this genius poet and author who started writing at five.
Backstory | Amanda Gorman is the youngest inaugural poet in U.S. history, as well as an award-winning writer. She graduated with Latin honors at Harvard University where she earned her undergraduate studies in Sociology.
I am so blessed to be surrounded by people who remember my birthday sans Zuckerberg’s reminder. Even more grateful for friends who went out of their way to make my birthday extra special. I cannot remember a year since birth when a party was thrown to commemorate my birthday. So when someone do the extra mile on my birthday, I feel elated because it is something new to me.
My birthdays have always been for others. It was always to make others special. Never about me nor making myself happy. Seeing a random stranger receive something from me and my friends on my birthday gives me so much joy.
To everyone near and far who made my 49th birthday extra, a thousand thank you to all of you. I pray that God will bless your thoughtfulness and generosity.
I am a year closer to Christ’s coming.
Backstory | In Thailand, you receive so many freebies on your birthday; my favorite is MK’s banana split, which comes with a printed and framed photo, a serenade, and a smile from the branch manager.
Who doesn’t want to have an impactful life? A life filled with meaning and one that transforms, inspires, and commands respect. I think most of us desire this way of living.
Here is one of my favorite pastors walking us through a life of purpose, revival, and prayer.
Backstory | This sermon was delivered at Weimar University which was founded to impart a knowledge of God to its students.
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