A double shot of Morphine

As I tread into this valley of confusion, I lost touch with what is significant. I gave in to the desire of a beautiful danger. Never for a second, I thought I would be capable of being trapped in this state, but only to find out later I was becoming the lead.

The dawning came when the throbbing of diversified unfiltered passion was deafening enough to not entertain. I ran to the corner of right and wrong, but it was an exercise of futility.

Will I ever escape from this self-inflicted cell?

When?

How?

Backstory: An invite to co-write for a huge project landed my email past midnight. The theme was Confronting Pain. This was an attempt to test whether I can do it. Apparently, I do not have the drive. A decision I have to make before Monday.

Monochrome

There are days I only see either black or white. Not that I am grieving as what those colors normally suggest but because even if there are abundance of hues, the blacks and the whites of certain situations are sometimes overwhelming.

Be your BEST today for the potter designed you to be.

This morning’s staff devotional was an eye opener. A beautiful reminder that I should always strive for my inner colors to shine not for myself but for my Potter’s glory.

It’s comforting to know that we were designed in His image and likeness. That despite our imperfections and stubbornness, God will love us just the same.

Backstory : Subin Hyun, my korean journalism student captured the above image as her submission for the monochrome class project for SY 2015-2016.

Change is Possible

Among the basic state rights I have, I take my right to suffrage seriously, intensely, and conscientiously. I remembered going to the poll precincts in Commonwealth Elementary School 23 years ago to cast my very first vote. It was an exercise that changed the way I looked at government camouflaged in public service. Back then, campaigns and sorties were limited to meeting de avance normally held in either a basketball court, a school ground or in front of a famous city landmark, and a house-to-house visit of the candidates where they actually sometimes dine, and sit down with you for a an honest-to-goodness conversation about life and future.

Two decades and 3 years after, the campaign landscape in the country I am proud to call home morphed into a whole new spectrum of mudslinging and salacious entertainment (depending on which one is bringing in more support) immensely magnified worldwide through social media in real time.

Clearly things have evolved. What used to be a sacred exercise became an open arena of multiple shares peppered with desires to even make it more vulnerable to public opinion. In this generation of self-abundance, we are trading relevance with popularity, careful study with bandwagon, but what is even more alarming is our conscious accord to fully embrace this new face of politics.

Voting has kicked off for OFWs and as someone who has been an expat for quite sometime, I am going out today not to vote but to experience and exercise once again the sacredness, the right, the power of my one vote that hopefully will bring good change.

I am a Filipino and as long as I am assured of this right, I will continue praying, hoping and voting for my dear Philippine’s brighter tomorrow.

Backstory : According to an online survey, 1 in 5 people suffer cyber bullying everyday with Facebook accounting for more than half of the abuse. The Commission on Human Rights in the PH is alarm of the rising number of election-related cyber bullying. I was one of their statistics but I’ve chosen to forgive.

 

Trekking Abraham’s path

Dr. Richard Webber is the best general surgeon of Seattle Grey’s now Grey-Sloan Memorial Hospital but he is not just saving lives, he is more popular as an emphatic and compassionate teaching surgeon in his entire medical career.

During his race with death he said : We’re all gonna die. We don’t get much to say how or when but we do get to decide how we’re going to live. So do it. Decide. Is this the life you wanna live? Is this the person you wanna love? Is this the best you can be? Can you be stronger? Kinder? More compassionate. Decide. Breath in. Breath out. And decide.

Life is now. How we choose to live today will determine a whole spectrum of things but ultimately it will point out our destination.

There is no perfect time to decide than NOW. I am not yet a licensed clinical psychologist or an expert of life-living because my life per se is one big mess but God led me to Abraham’s path.  A journey I am more than glad to share with you.

TRUST BEGETS TRUST BUT FAITH BEGETS LIFE. Try to cultivate a culture of dependence to the One Higher than your family, your boss, your dreams, your significant other, your bestfriend or even your mother-in-law. Because only then you can find the true meaning of life.

CHOOSE TO FORGIVE BECAUSE YOU ARE STRONGER THAN ONE MISTAKE. Stop wallowing on how stupid you are because of a fall. Believe me, there will be lots of them along the way so if you stick your nose to your current state of failure then it will be hard for you to move on. Failures are progressions of learning that will eventually led you to success.

COME TO THE TRUTH OF KNOWING WHO YOU REALLY ARE. My best gauge has always been passion married to happiness. You will never look at work as work if your heart is into it. Even in building relationship, it is critical that you get into as someone you are well verse at rather than a complete stranger. Never attempt to be someone else or worst don’t let other people or fashion mold a person in you because you have your own DNA, strength, talent and beauty that deserves multiple selfies.

SPEAK TO INSPIRE AND LISTEN TO CONTINUE TO LEARN.  Words are as deadly as the bullet but as powerful as the bible. Watch your mouth on babbles that will only bring trouble on you or the people around you. I remember when I was in Diliman, there was one exercise where our professor asked as to tape everything that we say in a day and bring the recorder to class for presentation. Everyone couldn’t seem to bring out their recorder because we were too ashamed to play it. Despite the fact that we were consciously aware that our words are being recorded, we still failed.

DEVELOP AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. Studies revealed that the happiest people are not those who have fat bank accounts or those who have the latest Ferrari and rare diamond nor those who have multiple degrees attached to their names but those who are grateful even for the little things that they have. Happy people are those who cheerfully give out their food even if it’s their last and only meal. Have you ever thank the cab driver who drove you safely to work today or smiled at the garbage collector who religiously collects your trash at your doorstep? I’ve always been thankful for calculators because my math is terrible and it gives me a sense of security knowing that whenever I will come across a number problem, I will always have something to run into. Don’t be stingy, go out and thank someone!

STAND FOR SOMETHING LARGER THAN YOUR LIFE. Find it in your heart to give back not because it’s the right thing to do but it’s what we are called to do. I know it’s never too late to start a revolution of people caring people.

Change is FREE but only until you decide.

Backstory : Dr. Richard Webber is a fictional character of the TV series Grey’s Anatomy.

What is your glory?

I was born for excellence.

My unique DNA exudes perfection and I mean it, at least in my own definition of the word and from my Chief’s eyes.

I am fearfully and wonderfully made!

Everyone is.

But oftentimes we fail to see this perfect us because we are prisoners of doubts, of inferiority, and of low self-esteem and confidence.

Anti-apartheid champion Nelson Mandela laid it best when he said that, “our greatest fear is not that we were inadequate but because we are powerful beyond measure”.

So, is it then our fullness of gifts that we are comfortably stubborn to face perfection and excellence head on or is it our failure to recognize?

In my case it was the latter.

Finding what makes us an excellent version of ourselves does not happen overnight, it may require an entire lifetime. And between that time and your present state is a roadmap that will lead and eventually bring you to your splendour.

I am a teacher.

But I can only be an excellent teacher if I am able to ignite my students’ imagination and develop their love for learning.

I am a photographer.

But I can only be an excellent photographer if my snapshots keeps a fleeting moment from running away and if my pictures speaks an aura of hope.

I am a writer.

But I can only be an excellent writer if my words inspires multitudes towards positive action.

I am a mother.

But I can only be an excellent mother if I mirror God’s character in my children’s eyes that will lead to obedience.

Theologian Frederick Buechner has written that “vocation is where our greatest passion meets the world’s greatest need”.

So whoever you are at this point, decide to become a perfectly excellent version of you by answering to the call of service higher than your own.

Whatever it is, that is your glory!

BACKSTORY : Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela is a South African anti-apartheid revolutionary and politician who served as President of South Africa from 1994 to 1999.

Carl Frederick Buechner is an American writer and theologian. Born July 11, 1926 in New York City, he is an ordained Presbyterian minister and the author of more than thirty published books thus far.

Source : Wikipedia

Choose happiness

I’ve been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.

But the worst part is, l have to deal with it for the rest of my life. I have vertigo too, that may worsen because I am stubborn to wear my glasses. I have erratic stomach, back and throat discomforts every now and then. I have scars all over me due to ten thousand reasons during my growing up and grown up years. I have debts. I have a failed marriage. I miss hugging and cuddling my children because I work miles away from home. I have a meager income.

Simply put, I have a plethora of valid reasons to whine but I deliberately decided to see the brighter side of every struggle I face.

It’s not easy as ABC especially if this feeling sinks in that the universe and the people around it conspires to make you miserable.

There are however 3 Ps that spells the difference.

Prayer. Perspective. Practice.

Prayer is an ultimate answer to all miseries. I always remind myself that every struggle is a call to prayer. I rest in God’s promise that all these shall pass and that there is a place called heaven where we can be happy for the rest of our immortal life. That alone is enough to look forward. Try anchoring your life to this promise and everything else will be light and easy.

Emotions and reactions are both end results of perspective. I can complain why I have all these imperfections and struggles while others are enjoying their lives to the fullest, but I can also prefer to deal these imperfections and turned them into challenges or even blessings. I may have a lifelong ordeal with hyperthyroidism but I also have a lifetime chance to deal with it.

Words will remain letters until you put them into actions. Practice does not make perfection. It develops into a habit and eventually into a lifestyle. So even if I remind myself every single day that I will pick out the road to happiness but intersperse that with complaints is a sure exercise in futility.

Happiness is choice and grace combined.

The former is all yours to take but the latter comes from the Big Guy who generously gives and patiently waits.

Your call.

Backstory : I cheated on this post. I was eating breakfast while writing and I finished the remaining paragraph at work. Tough but trying.

Be thankful

A life is a good start to be grateful.

Whether yours is floating like clouds in heaven and mine is soaked in pain, there is still so much to discover that will lead us to gratitude.

Imagine not waking up to everything that you enjoy now. What could life be for you and me then? But there is more to life than recognizing what we have.

The ability to sincerely appreciate each relationship, a new app or skill you learned, a smile however it affects and every step you make towards failure and success brings a whole new meaning to how we view gratitude. I am in the process of mastering this skill with grace and authenticity. And it is truly an effort to start something that everyone considered beyond extinction.

Start nonetheless.

Who knows you might infect others to do the same. It may not be as dramatic as changing the course of the universe but remember that each big feat starts with a simple step.

Start with a smile.

Escalate to a laugh.

See your life in a different light.

Live according to that appreciative spirit.

You and I need it. The world needs it.

Heed.

Backstory : An article from Rappler inspired me to articulate my thoughts into words. This is an initial attempt to scribble my thoughts after my morning devotional but before breakfast. Some writers have styles, discipline, zone, habit and even an appointed time to write. I don’t. I write whenever there is an urge to write and whenever my heart feels like writing. No one can compel me to do it, not even a box of black chocolates. I’m trying.